Handshake/and No Handshake. A tale of two skin tones.
The recent controversy surrounding the Republican senator’s husband refusing to shake hands or even make eye contact with Vice President Kamala Harris is just another glaring example of the deep-rooted disrespect that Black leaders—especially Black women—face in American politics. This isn’t just about personal preference or social awkwardness; this is part of a long-standing pattern of dismissiveness, hostility, and outright contempt directed at those who do not fit into the traditional mold of leadership that certain groups in this country find acceptable.
What makes this even more infuriating is the blatant hypocrisy surrounding these moments. When Donald Trump refused to attend President Biden’s inauguration, where was the outrage from the same people now defending this lack of basic civility? When Melania Trump openly snubbed Dr. Jill Biden and refused to engage in the traditional courtesy of hosting the incoming First Lady, the right-wing media didn’t spend days justifying it—it was simply ignored. Yet, when a Republican is caught acting in a similar manner, suddenly it’s no big deal.
This double standard extends beyond mere etiquette; it speaks to a much larger and more insidious issue—the idea that Black leaders, particularly Black women, should not only endure disrespect but are somehow obligated to take the high road in response. This expectation has been placed on Michelle Obama, Kamala Harris, and countless others who have faced vile attacks, racialized insults, and a complete erasure of their accomplishments. Meanwhile, their detractors, often shielded by privilege, are free to engage in whatever level of disrespect they choose—without consequence or accountability.
Michelle Obama, during her eight years as First Lady, was repeatedly subjected to disgusting, dehumanizing rhetoric. She was called a man, an ape, and worse by people who had no issue with the actual scandals, vulgarity, and criminality surrounding figures in the Trump administration. She, like so many Black women in the public eye, was expected to rise above it all, to stay graceful, to never retaliate. And she did. But why is it always on Black women to be the bigger person? Why is it always on them to prove their dignity when their opponents show none?
We saw this same hypocrisy during the Obama presidency when every action was scrutinized, every statement twisted, and every show of emotion deemed “unpresidential.” Meanwhile, Trump’s blatant lies, racism, misogyny, and open hostility towards institutions were either dismissed or, even worse, celebrated.
Let’s be clear: this is not just about one man refusing to shake hands. This is about a system that continuously undermines and disrespects people of color in power while allowing white conservatives to act with complete impunity. The expectation that Black leaders must always be gracious, always be silent in the face of disrespect, and always “set an example” is a form of control. It’s a demand for submission, not equality.
Respect is not a one-way street. If we are truly going to demand civility, it must be applied consistently. If not, then let’s stop pretending that this is about decorum and admit that for some, respect is conditional—granted only to those who look, speak, and think a certain way.
#DoubleStandards #KamalaHarris #MichelleObama #PoliticalHypocrisy #RespectIsEarned #MAGAExposed
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