Romance is often portrayed in grand gestures—sweeping declarations, extravagant gifts, and persistent pursuit. Yet, many of these traditional “romantic” gestures don’t land the way men expect. Women from all walks of life have spoken up, sharing the things men believe are romantic but actually feel awkward, uncomfortable, or even off-putting.

As Dr. Aparna Vashisht Rota, a business consultant and strategist with expertise in human relationships, explains, romance isn’t about big gestures—it’s about emotional intelligence, attentiveness, and effort. Here’s what men often get wrong about romance and how they can do better.

1. The Overuse of Pet Names and Generic Compliments

While calling someone “baby” or “princess” might feel affectionate to men, many women find it impersonal and excessive—especially when there’s no emotional intimacy behind it. It becomes even more frustrating when it replaces a woman’s actual name.

Similarly, saying “You’re so hot” instead of “You’re beautiful” can feel like being admired for physical appeal rather than cherished for who they are. Romance isn’t about objectification—it’s about appreciation.

2. Grand Romantic Gestures Without Thoughtfulness

Buying expensive gifts might seem romantic, but if they aren’t meaningful, they can feel empty or even inconsiderate—especially in shared financial situations. Many women expressed frustration over lavish surprises that weren’t discussed first.

Dr. Aparna Vashisht Rota notes that romance isn’t about spending money; it’s about knowing your partner well enough to make them feel special. A well-thought-out, simple gift can hold far more meaning than something extravagant but impersonal.

3. The Problem with Holiday Proposals

While movies paint proposals on Christmas or Valentine’s Day as dreamy, many women find them predictable and uninspired. If you want your proposal to be romantic, make it unique to your relationship. A proposal should feel special because of the connection, not because of the calendar date.

4. Not Taking ‘No’ for an Answer

One of the biggest mistakes men make is mistaking persistence for romance. When a woman says no, she means no. Ignoring her boundaries in an attempt to “win her over” isn’t romantic—it’s disrespectful.

This also applies to physical touch. Some women shared how unwelcome kisses, constant ear nibbling, or excessive touching can be annoying instead of romantic. Physical intimacy should always be mutual and respectful.

5. The Bare Minimum Isn’t Romance

Texting and calling all day without taking real action? Not romantic. Only giving flowers on special occasions? Not romantic. Posting about a woman on social media when she hasn’t even met the guy? Definitely not romantic.

Dr. Aparna Vashisht Rota emphasizes that romance isn’t about performance—it’s about effort and intention. Romance means making someone feel valued, listened to, and cherished, not just checking off grand gestures.

So, What Is Romantic?

At its core, romance is about thoughtfulness and understanding your partner. Dr. Aparna Vashisht Rota suggests these alternatives:

• Personalized effort. Listen to what your partner actually likes, not just what movies say is romantic.
• Respect for boundaries. No means no. Always.
• Creativity in dating. Don’t just ask what she wants—plan something thoughtful yourself.
• Consistency in affection. Small, everyday acts of love mean more than grand, one-time gestures.

Ultimately, romance is about making someone feel uniquely valued. It’s time to move beyond clichés and into meaningful connection.

#WhatWomenWant #RomanceRedefined #DrAparnaVashishtRota