Celeb Chai | February 13, 2026

Three stories about the British monarchy dropped today. Two of them are problems. One of them is the solution. Guess which one was planned months in advance.

The Problems

Problem one. Channel 4 News broke that newly released DOJ Epstein files contain emails showing Prince Andrew actively brokered a meeting between Jeffrey Epstein and Colonel Gaddafi in late 2010. Andrew used his position as UK trade envoy, worked through intermediaries with coded aliases, and closed the deal with a two-word email to a convicted sex offender: “Libya fixed.”

Problem two. The Mercury News and others are now reporting that Sultan Ahmed bin Sulayem, the former chairman and CEO of DP World in Dubai, resigned this week after the same Epstein file dump revealed years of contact with Epstein, including visits to his private island and an email exchange in which Epstein thanked him for a “torture video.” Bin Sulayem is a founding partner of William’s Earthshot Prize. DP World donated at least $1.3 million to help William establish the organization. Britain’s Charity Commission has opened an investigation. The anti-monarchy group Republic is asking whether Earthshot conducted any due diligence on this donor, and whether William overruled concerns.

William has been photographed with Bin Sulayem on multiple occasions. This is not a distant, arm’s-length corporate sponsorship. This is a founding partner of William’s signature philanthropic initiative, a man who was exchanging emails about torture videos with a pedophile.

The Solution

On this exact same day, The Mirror launched its four-part serialization of Russell Myers’ new biography, “William and Catherine: The Intimate Inside Story.” The first installment is wall-to-wall anonymous palace sources telling you that William wanted Andrew banished years before Charles acted. William called Andrew “a stain on all the family.” William always thought his uncle was “a bit of an ignoramus.” William challenged Charles directly. William told the family there was “absolutely no upside in Andrew being protected.” William and Catherine’s view after Newsnight was “terminal.”

Four parts. Four installments of palace insiders on the record (anonymously, of course) testifying to William’s moral clarity, his foresight, his clean hands.

Four pieces to sterilize William on the day he needs it most.

What Is Actually Happening Here

The Myers serialization was not written this morning. It was scheduled. The publication date was set. The Mirror’s exclusive access to palace insiders was negotiated in advance. None of that is unusual. That is how publishing works.

What is worth examining is what this serialization accomplishes on a day when two separate Epstein-adjacent stories threaten to pull William into the blast radius.

The Andrew emails are an institutional crisis. Andrew was operating as a Crown representative when he brokered that meeting. The Earthshot story is a personal crisis. William’s own flagship project took money from a man who visited Epstein’s island and sent him videos Epstein described as depicting torture.

The serialization answers both. On Andrew, William was always the one pushing for accountability. On proximity to the Epstein network, William is framed as the person who understood the danger before anyone else. The biography does not address the Earthshot donor story directly, because it did not need to. It does something more effective. It establishes William as a man whose instincts on Epstein-adjacent figures have always been sound, whose judgment has always been to cut ties, who has always prioritized protecting the institution.

If you accept the Myers narrative, then any Epstein connection that touches William must be an innocent oversight, because William is the one who always wanted distance.

That is how preemptive reputation management works. You do not rebut the specific story. You build the character who could never be guilty of it.

The Questions Nobody Is Asking

Here is what the four-piece sterilization does not want you to think about:

If William truly understood since 2019 that any Epstein association was “terminal” for public figures, why did Earthshot accept $1.3 million from a founding partner who visited Epstein’s island? Did anyone at Earthshot run donor vetting? Did William know? When did he know?

If William’s view was that Andrew “shouldn’t be anywhere near the family under any circumstances,” why was the family’s response for years limited to vague statements about Andrew being a “private individual”?

If William’s instincts were always this sharp, why did it take until this week for Kensington Palace to issue a statement saying the prince and princess were “deeply concerned by the continuing revelations”? Continuing revelations that have been continuing for six years?

The biography gives you William the prophet. The actual record gives you an institution that moved slowly, protected its own, and is now running a media campaign to make sure the future king emerges clean from the wreckage.

The Pattern

This is not the first time Celeb Chai has tracked this playbook. A damaging story surfaces. Within the same news cycle, a counter-narrative appears, sourced to anonymous insiders, positioning a key figure as having always been on the right side. The damaging story gets one or two days of coverage. The counter-narrative gets four serialized installments.

It is not a conspiracy. It is a media ecosystem where access is currency and everyone’s incentives align. The Mirror gets a four-part exclusive that will drive traffic for a week. The palace gets a sterilization campaign timed to the most dangerous news cycle of the year. And the reading public gets a story about one good prince who always knew the right thing to do.

Pay attention to what gets four parts and what gets one headline. The ratio tells you everything.

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