Meghan Markle’s Expectations vs. Reality

When Meghan Markle stepped into the world of British royalty, she carried with her the dreams of a modern fairy tale. However, the reality that awaited her behind palace walls proved far more complex than the glamorous facade suggested. This is the story of how an American actress’s vision of royal life collided with centuries-old traditions, ultimately leading to one of the most significant shifts in modern royal history.

This is a summary of the Times article linked above. New York Post as per this Times report, felt uncomfortable with Meghan’s hugs. Right below it is what the media should focus on:

1. Prince Andrew
2. Kate Middleton and all her failed efforts to rebrand.
3. Royal commentators who keep attacking Meghan Markle for all the misdeeds that belong to the Royal Family. Meghan and Harry have true friends while Kate has none.
4. William
5. The truth about Meghan’s alleged bullying claims

The Golden Beginning That Wasn’t

The early days of Meghan’s royal journey seemed promising. Prince William and Kate Middleton initially welcomed her warmly, with William even sharing lighthearted moments dancing with his future sister-in-law. Yet beneath the surface, cultural fault lines were already forming. Meghan’s naturally effusive American manner— warm hugs and direct communication—created subtle discomfort among the more reserved royal family members, particularly William, who found such informality at odds with royal protocol.

A Tale of Two Duchesses

The contrast between Kate and Meghan’s approaches to royal life became a study in opposites. Kate had chosen the path of careful observation and gradual adaptation, learning the intricate dance of royal protocol over years before her marriage. Meghan, driven by a reformer’s spirit, sought immediate change. Where Kate saw tradition as a framework to work within, Meghan viewed it as a barrier to modernization. This fundamental difference in philosophy would eventually contribute to a deepening rift between the two duchesses and their households.

The Reality of Royal Resources

Perhaps one of the most striking disconnects lay in Meghan’s expectations of royal wealth and autonomy. The reality of living in Nottingham Cottage—modest by Hollywood standards—became a symbol of what she perceived as Prince Harry’s undervalued position within the family. While Harry had grown accustomed to the hierarchical nature of royal housing arrangements, Meghan saw their living situation as a reflection of deeper inequities, particularly in comparison to William and Kate’s more spacious accommodations.

The Staff Dynamic

Within the palace walls, a complex ecosystem of staff and servants maintained centuries-old traditions. King Charles himself acknowledged his dependence on this system, while Queen Camilla learned to navigate its demands despite initial reservations. Meghan’s relationship with palace staff proved equally complicated. While she could be genuinely warm and engaging, her direct American management style and expectations of immediate service sometimes clashed with the more formal British approach to household management.

Harry’s Evolution

One of the most significant transformations occurred in Prince Harry himself. Previously content with his role as “the spare,” his perspective began to shift under Meghan’s influence. She encouraged him to question the status quo and advocate for their shared vision of a more progressive royal family. While some staff members viewed this change positively, others saw it as a concerning departure from his family ties and traditional role.

The Breaking Point

The accumulation of tensions—from disputes over wedding tiaras to frustrations with scheduling protocols—eventually reached a critical mass. Meghan’s attempts to modernize the institution met with resistance from those who saw tradition as the monarchy’s foundation. Unlike her sister-in-law Kate, who had gradually earned influence through careful adherence to protocol, Meghan’s direct approach to change created friction with both courtiers and family members.

A Different Kind of Spare

In a poignant parallel to her husband’s position, Meghan found herself cast in the role of another kind of “spare”—an outsider whose attempts to forge her own path within the institution were met with resistance. Despite her determination to carve out a meaningful role while maintaining independence, the clash between her vision and the palace’s expectations proved insurmountable.

The Legacy

The story of Meghan’s brief tenure as a working royal serves as a compelling study in the challenges of modernizing ancient institutions. Her experience highlighted the delicate balance between tradition and progress, personal autonomy and duty, that continues to shape the British monarchy. While her departure alongside Prince Harry marked a significant break from royal tradition, it also sparked important conversations about adaptation and change within one of the world’s oldest monarchies.

The tale of Meghan Markle’s royal journey ultimately reveals less about any individual’s failings than about the fundamental challenges of reconciling modern expectations with historical institutions. It stands as a testament to the complex interplay between tradition and change, personal identity and institutional demands, that continues to shape the evolution of the British royal family in the 21st century.

WRONG

A Royal Fairy Tale? Not Quite.

When Meghan Markle married into the British royal family, the media and royal insiders painted a picture of her struggling to fit in with “protocol”—a term conveniently applied only to some members of the family while others do as they please. While Meghan was expected to uphold outdated traditions, Charles carried on an affair for decades before marrying Camilla, Andrew was still being protected despite serious allegations, and Kate was praised for doing little beyond dressing well.

The idea that Meghan was some sort of rule-breaker for hugging people or for wanting to modernize aspects of the monarchy is laughable when compared to what other royals have been allowed to get away with.

The Reality of Palace Life

Palace staff are often described as the gatekeepers of royal life, ensuring everything runs according to the institution’s traditions. Yet, those same traditions have allowed the monarchy to protect and enable royals who actually bring scandal to the family. Prince Andrew remained sheltered for years despite his ties to Jeffrey Epstein, and King Charles lived openly as a “serial adulterer” before finally marrying Camilla. But Meghan wanting to work on her own terms? That was apparently unacceptable.

Meanwhile, Prince William and Charles reportedly have tempers and demand perfection from their staff. But when Meghan expected competency from those around her, she was labeled “difficult.”

Meghan vs. The Palace Establishment

From the moment she entered the royal fold, Meghan was held to a different standard. Unlike Kate, who had years to ease into royal life, Meghan was expected to adapt instantly and without question. When she spoke up or advocated for herself, she was seen as disruptive. The media and royal aides spun stories about her “clashing with staff,” but much of this criticism seemed rooted in the fact that Meghan didn’t accept the rigid, hierarchical system as blindly as others did.

Nottingham Cottage and the Status Game

One of the most telling signs of the palace’s treatment of Meghan was her and Harry’s living situation. Nottingham Cottage, while historic, was modest compared to William and Kate’s residence in Kensington Palace. Meghan, like any reasonable person, questioned why Harry—a senior royal—wasn’t given the same resources as his brother. Rather than acknowledge that her concerns were valid, royal aides dismissed her as being “entitled.”

The Meghan ‘Effect’ and the Pushback Against Her Popularity

Despite the media narrative, Meghan was widely loved by the public, particularly young people and those who saw her as a fresh, relatable addition to the royal family. Her advocacy for social issues, mental health, and women’s empowerment drew global praise. But within the palace, there was resistance to her popularity. The monarchy operates on a rigid hierarchy, and Meghan was never supposed to outshine those higher up in the line of succession.

Instead of supporting her initiatives, the royal institution seemed determined to undermine her, planting negative stories in the press and ensuring that every move she made was criticized.

The ‘Spare’ Narrative – It Wasn’t Just Harry

Much has been said about Prince Harry’s struggle as the “spare” to William, but in many ways, Meghan was treated as an outsider in the same way. She was never going to be given the same grace as Kate, and she certainly wasn’t going to be allowed to shake up the system. Unlike Kate, who was willing to play by the outdated rules, Meghan wanted to actually make a difference. And for that, she was seen as a threat.

A Palace That Protects the Wrong People

The treatment of Meghan stands in stark contrast to how the royal family has handled actual scandals. Prince Andrew was only officially stripped of his royal duties when public outrage became impossible to ignore. King Charles’ affair with Camilla was brushed aside until it became acceptable to rewrite history. Even William, who reportedly has a bad temper and has allegedly had his own extramarital issues, is shielded from real scrutiny.

But Meghan? She was torn apart in the press for everything from her work ethic to her fashion choices. The hypocrisy couldn’t be clearer.

Conclusion: Meghan Wasn’t the Problem—The Institution Was

Meghan’s story isn’t about a woman who couldn’t adapt to royal life. It’s about an institution that refuses to change and punishes those who don’t blindly fall in line. The narrative that Meghan was “difficult” or “demanding” is nothing more than a distraction from the real issue—the royal family’s outdated traditions, internal politics, and blatant double standards.